Trauma Help From a Muslim Therapist

Trauma Help from a Muslim Therapist

The information contained herein is to offer a comprehensive overview of trauma (not for treatment or diagnosis) with special emphasis on what trauma often looks like in some of the Muslim populations, particularly Muslim women I treat. It is important to get trauma help from a Muslim therapist, particularly, one who has studied Islam and who knows the Islamic rulings surrounding the issues clients seek treatment for. Getting help for trauma from a Muslim therapist will be beneficial because:

What is Trauma?

Trauma is defined as an emotional response to a terrible event. This emotional response may include denial, shock, anger, and fear. Acute and chronic trauma can be differentiated based on the type of event experienced.

People’s response to trauma exists on a spectrum. Not everyone who experiences the same traumatic event will have the same response. Some people may go on to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), while others may be affected but for shorter periods of time or at a clinically undiagnosable level.

The goal of treatment for trauma is to learn to regulate the body while being able to engage.

Common Types of Trauma

What Individuals With Trauma Say

Traumatic events can cause a wide variety of symptoms. The symptoms can appear soon after the event or later on in life. It is also possible to have body symptoms without remembering that a traumatic event has occurred.

Clients often say things like:

• I have this powerful inner critic that I feel is driving me crazy.
• I can’t forgive, forget, or move on. It’s like I’m stuck.
• I get attacks that feel like panic, intense anxiety, and sometimes nightmares.
• I avoid that place because of the memory attached to it.
• Since they did that to me, I feel like I am broken.
• Growing up I suffered so much abuse that I can’t manage as an adult.
• I can’t figure out boundaries and people walk all over me.
• I have a huge desire to save and help other people, and I often feel like it’s my job.
• Sometimes it feels like I’m right back there reliving that moment.
• My self-esteem is so poor.
• I have a lot of intrusive thoughts that won’t quieten.
• I am so worried about disappointing others that I work so hard, often unnecessarily.
• I feel like I am going to have a breakdown before meeting certain people or going to some places.
• I will do almost anything to drown out the feelings I have.
• I’ve just kept myself on autopilot to cope.
• I have a lot of fears, so I am always checking to make sure I didn’t do or say something wrong.
• I have a need for perfectionism and people-pleasing.
• I don’t want to say no to people because of the disappointment or backlash.

It is essential to have a safe space to share your story. Trauma help from a Muslim therapist may be just what your heart, body, and soul need to heal and recover.

Am I a Bad Muslim?

When clients ask me if they are a bad Muslim because they are afraid, a part of my heart breaks. Sometimes people believe they are bad Muslims because of having fear of things or people other than Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Sometimes Muslims are shamed and are told they are less of a Muslim because of what they are experiencing. Trauma help from a Muslim therapist can be especially beneficial because it helps you understand fear and trauma from a broader perspective that doesn’t cause shame and actually brings relief, in sha Allah.

Truth be told, our fear response serves great purposes. It lets us know there is something to be careful about. It is by divine design that we have a fantastic way of staying safe! The brain has learned that it needs to set off some alarms to keep you safe, and sometimes those alarms get paired with different situations, and sometimes there is a faulty connection, but the goal is still to keep you safe. When the brain has a hard time deciphering between real and perceived threats, we develop symptoms even when there isn’t anything to be worried about.

For this reason, we have to take the whole person into consideration along with the thought and behavior processes. Trauma help from a Muslim therapist will help because as Muslims, we can decipher between excessiveness, rigidity, and what kinds of fear, and how to resolve them in a holistic way you’re comfortable with.

Please keep in mind that I usually get a lot of background information and then analyze it in totality to help you determine if you are a very pious person or if you are unfairly excessive in one area. I absolutely do not judge and wholeheartedly invite you to explore this.

Why Do Bad Things Happen?

A lot of clients ask me why horrible things happen to people. They ask me if Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) is angry with them or wants to punish them. If Allah is so merciful, then why does He allow terrible things to happen to innocent people?

Questions like this loom in the minds of people who’ve been through painful tragedies. While I in no way can answer for Allah, we can explain according to Islamic texts like the Qur’an and Ahadith, and also psychological principles that are well-grounded.

What we know about the world is that there are all kinds of people living amongst us who have full liberty to make choices. As Muslims, we believe that people will be accountable for the wrongs they do, but only believing that may or may not relieve the anxiety, grief, sadness, or other feelings caused by what people do.

We do know that it’s not only the event itself, but also the meaning that is derived from the traumatic event, that shapes how we are affected. If, for example, someone begins to believe they are truly unsafe, they may develop anxiety symptoms that can show a little or a lot. If a person believes what happened to them was because they were bad, they may develop anxiety, depression, OCD, and other struggles, depending on how much they believe they are bad.

Essentially, how we process events can alter our ‘core’ beliefs about ourselves and our world. In therapy, we will work together to help you restore safety and esteem.

The fact that many people recover from traumatic events without long-term symptoms suggests that protective factors, like secure attachment to others and having safety and other needs met, help restore balance and wellbeing.

When we continue to struggle after a traumatic event, often, though not always, negative, limiting core beliefs developed during childhood are also part of the picture.

When children are raised under continual stressors and abuse, it does not mean they are doomed to struggle. Having even one caring adult they could talk to or draw inspiration from can make a powerful difference.

Events that happen in our lives aren’t supposed to roll us over. What is ideally supposed to be in place is good, secure relationships. This is a key factor that builds resilience – the ability to bounce back after adversity.

Everything that happens is within Allah’s decree (qadr), yet people are fully accountable for the harm they choose to do. Abuse is a wrong committed by a person. It is never a sign that Allah is angry with you or that you deserved it.

It stands to reason that if we were to work on our individual and community health, we would improve as an Ummah and as a world.

In the meantime, we can absolutely work on building resilience and rewriting the meaning made from the stories you’ve lived which cause you pain, in sha Allah.

Trauma help from a Muslim therapist will help you keep all views in line and help you get some answers to the questions that may be circulating in your mind.

PTSD in Men vs. Women

Mental health experts agree that women can sometimes experience PTSD in different ways than men. For example, women with PTSD are more likely to feel depressed and anxious, as well as have trouble feeling or dealing with their emotions. They also tend to avoid activities and things that remind them of the traumatic event they suffered through. And while men with PTSD have a higher probability of turning to alcohol or drugs to mask their trauma, women are less likely to do so.

Some women who have a difficult time in the delivery room also suffer from a type of PTSD known as birth trauma, and if left untreated, it can stay with them through their journey as a parent. It may also explain why some women do not want to go through childbirth again and may decide to stop having more children. This is very different from postpartum depression. Organizations such as Solace for Mothers have worked to support women who have been traumatized and to prevent birth trauma.

When people are educated about how PTSD can affect women, they have a better understanding of the fact that the disorder is not only a real medical problem, it is also highly treatable.

Sometimes women will feel the need to be perfect, and admitting to something they perceive as a weakness may feel like the last thing on earth they want to do. Women are constantly sent the message that they need to do it all, and do it all very well, which, of course, isn’t possible. But it does not change the fact that they still feel that way and live with that kind of pressure.

Some of the psychological treatments that have proved to be effective in helping women cope with the symptoms of PTSD include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps someone put the emphasis on how they evaluate and respond to certain feelings, thoughts, and memories. Another type of treatment is exposure therapy, a behavioral treatment for PTSD. It can help someone reduce their fear and anxiety by gradually and safely approaching the memories and reminders they have been avoiding.

The first part of any true trauma treatment is normalizing the symptoms and experiences of someone who is struggling with PTSD. What does “normalizing” look like?

• Recognize that physical pain may be part of the process. Some people who struggle with PTSD have severe migraines, back pain, or even stomach and digestive issues.
• Be aware that flashbacks and/or nightmares can occur in anyone who has experienced a traumatic event. Often they can be triggered by sounds, smells, or a phrase that someone says.

This will help somewhat with the guilt, but making peace with a difficult past is a long process, and dealing with the guilt is no exception. But with the right therapist, there is absolutely hope, especially when you find a therapist who understands how PTSD impacts a person’s thoughts, feelings, behaviors, relationships, and self-image.

Diagnosing Trauma

Diagnosing that someone has experienced trauma comes as a result of symptoms reported and questionnaires that measure how much various symptoms are being expressed. I often use the PCL-5 (PTSD Checklist for DSM-5) to measure those symptoms, and then we can know if we’re improving in therapy by reassessing over time.

Symptoms are as previously mentioned and often look like a cluster of disorders or struggles like anxiety, depression, OCD, and relationship difficulties.

Treating Trauma

Clients with symptoms of trauma who seek treatment will often experience improvements in their quality of life across all domains. For example, people who were lacking in focus, losing relationships, avoiding events, people, and memories associated with the traumatic event, feeling hypervigilant, having flashbacks, or struggling in relationships may notice they improve their functioning and are able to reengage in areas of life they value, and improve their relationships with people and with ideas, which often helps them improve their spirituality and relationship with Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala).

Several types of therapies may be used to help clients with trauma. As a Muslim therapist working with Muslim clients, per my client’s comfort level, I offer an integrated therapy helping them with Islamic principles and values that most find liberating. Please note that clients absolutely have the option of electing therapy without Islamic principles and values.

Trauma is painful. It not only alters how people interact with others but also how they understand or misunderstand themselves. It can lead to anxiety, self-harm, substance use, PTSD — the list goes on and on. The sooner a person can access trauma-informed treatment, the sooner they can start to heal.

Trauma-focused therapy works with clients to help them understand their trauma and address their symptoms and problems in healthier ways.

Below are some (but not all) potential benefits of trauma therapy:

• Reduce or improve trauma-related symptoms
• Empower personal growth
• Manage regulation of the nervous system (e.g. heart palpitations, shaking, etc.)
• Refocus on the present over the past
• Overcome addictions
• Eliminate or reduce self-harm
• Recognize intergenerational trauma
• Implement healthier coping skills
• Improve self-worth and self-esteem

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